AITA for making my graduate student walk upstairs after knee surgery? https://t.co/jMNYpAtzqs pic.twitter.com/ikNBUSVon6— Am I the Asshole? (@AITA_reddit) February 25, 2020
AITA for making my graduate student walk upstairs after knee surgery.
"I am an assistant professor at a university with an office on the ninth floor of a building. I hold regular meetings with graduate assistants, and they are expected to attend unless they have a really good excuse. Failure to attend results in less involvement in research projects. This system is common here, and I must abide by it to maintain the respect of my department.
Today, unfortunately, the elevator is out of order. My assistant had surgery three weeks ago and has a brace. She asked if we could meet in a lower floor communal area. There are people who walk in and out of there, and I feel like it would be too distracting. I told her that meetings are always in my office, as planned, and unless she had a statement from a physician that she could not go up the stairs, I would not change the location or cancel the meeting. I have no doubt that she can make it up the stairs, it would just take her longer than usual. She could arrive at the building earlier.
Apparently she complained to the department head. I talked to her (the head), and she said that it is my right to hold meetings wherever I find them appropriate. However, she also said, and I quote, "it seems like a dick move." I was taken aback at the inappropriate language from my head, and I am considering filing a complaint against her with the ombudsman. Sounds like someone who will seek retaliation if she is so quick to make gender-based slurs against people. I do not think I will file a Title IX claim against her, but that is not off the table. I told her I did not appreciate her words, and she said, "Just consider what I said. You can require the meeting where you would like."
I did require it in my office. My assistant made it up. She did not seem to be in any more pain as normal. We had the meeting. I reminded her that I allowed her three weeks off of meetings, which is a big deal to me. I expected her next week whether or not the elevator is repaired. This is an inconvenience to me, as well. I am not a big fan of walking up nine flights of stairs in dress shoes, but I have to do it.
A colleague of mine told me he would have just met her downstairs, but he did not think I made a "dick move." Another colleague told me that she would have never done what I did. I feel like they might be talking about me behind my back. Hopefully it is not the department head spreading rumors, but I will surely find out.
I would like your opinions on my behavior but also on the behavior of my department head, as I think most would agree that even if what I did was unconventional, what she did was much worse. Thank you in advance."
What do you think of this situation?
I personally have no words. At least no coherent words. Like how is this even a question? Like how is someone even questioning if they're an asshole in this situation? But then again we all know plenty of academics who don't exactly know how to ask questions (you know the ones... those who use Q&A sessions as a time to make comments).
What audacious BS have you seen in Academia lately? Comment below.
