Actually I do know and I started a draft of this blog post on March 18th. I've been sitting on it for 25 days just adding notes here and there. Not knowing what to say or how to say it. I was worried about being judged for what I have and have not been doing during this time.
The week of March 16th was rough because neither my university nor my department had made any official statements about what to do or to expect. This lack of communication was very frustrating. It was pretty obvious we were going to shut down, everyone around us (i.e. Yale, Columbia, Memorial Sloan Kettering) were shutting down labs. But when it came to us, radio silence. This gave me a lot of anxiety. Should I be starting my planned experiments only for them to be interrupted and essentially trashed? I was in the middle of optimizing a protein purification protocol and a round of CRISPR/Cas9 knock-in transfections which would take a few weeks for and clonal expansion. So I took it into my own hands and decided to wrap up before getting official word on what to do. This helped immensely with my anxiety because I was no longer in the limbo of whether to start or not start my experiments. I got my experiments to nice and tidy stopping points on Tuesday, March 17th and then transitioned to working from home (WFH).
I am and have been officially working from home (WFH) for an undetermined period of time.
While it feels weird it feels good to know what I'm doing even if it's not exactly what I want. I want to be in lab. But it did not feel good to be in lab unsure what to start vs wait on in the case the lab may just be closed tomorrow. So I made the decision myself.— Caitlyn Cardetti (@CaitlynCardetti) March 18, 2020
I received official word I could WFH.
Day 3 Friday, March 20th
I attended my first COVIDCafe which has been a saving grace. I've attended 6 so far. I wasn't able to go to any of them one week early on and I definitely missed it.
Yet AGAIN @GC4AMH is hosting not one, not two, but THREE #COVIDCafe events this week! Connect with academics all over the world and discuss the trials and tribulations of #QuarentineLife ranging from the serious to the frivolous. We creating a safe space to discuss #Mentalhealth pic.twitter.com/F5TiPJ1zjL— Wendy Marie Ingram (@pyromanticism) April 11, 2020
I also think this was the day Dom bought me Animal Crossing as a belated birthday present. It has been great! Easy to lose oneself and spend hours not feeling for the times where that is exactly what you need.
Dom was bummed because this was supposed to be a weekend in Montreal for his brother's bachelor party.
Day 5 Saturday, March 22nd
We went to the super market. It was an exhausting ordeal. They were limiting people in the store (which I complete support and respect) so we had to wait outside a bit. Inside it had a weird vibe since it was so few people and you weren't sure how much you should stay away from others. Should you get fresh produce? We decided we could risk it. There was barely any meat available. Dairy and eggs had buy 2 limits. The checkout lines had marked spacers to keep us 6 feet apart but it was so empty it was hardly needed. It was exhausting. And when we got home we washed and sanitized everything. We also washed ourselves. We haven't been back since but we're probably going to have to soon.
Day 6 Sunday, March 23rd
My workshop/committee update which was scheduled for today was canceled - I'm actually okay with this, well kind of. I needed more time because I was hoping to have the aforementioned protein purification protocol optimized for this update but I needed that time to be collecting data which I'm obviously not.
March 8 Tuesday, March 25th
Found out my labmate likely has COViD-19. He's okay now but his family also got sick, they are also okay now. But it gave me a lot of anxiety because I interact with him a lot. Did I have it? Was I just asymptomatic while it was incubating?
Day 11 Friday, March 27th
My little mini vacation I planned for the weekend to go to Maine to visit my friend Trina and go hiking in Acadia was supposed to be this weekend.
Day 12 Saturday, March 28th
It was a rainy day. I was feeling bummed so I went to Starbucks drive-thru for a mocha and to the beach. It was rainy and I only saw one other person who was over a mile away. Sinking my toes into the wet sand and letting the still too cold ocean water ice my feet was exactly what I needed.
Day 13 Monday, March 30th
The extended spring break was finally over and my class resumed via Zoom. I am so, so thankful I decided to take this course. I was initially unsure because it's an extra elective and should I really be taking time from my research like that but now it is another one of saving graces. It is really the only thing keeping me accountable time-wise - Mondays and Wednesdays I zoom into class 2:30pm-4pm. This course also involved a project using DOCK and AMBER which keeps me busy outside those hours and doing something I enjoy the most, learning.
Day 14 Tuesday, March 31st
Had our first Graduate Women in Science and Engineering (GWiSE) Coffee Chat. I was inspired by COVIDCafe so I thought I should bring it local to GWiSE. So far we've had two of them which has been nice to see familiar faces with a third scheduled for this week Thursday.
Also felt a lot of relief because it has been 14 days and I felt fine. Huge relief actually. So huge I cannot adequately word it. Don't get me wrong, I know the risk is still real but I am very cautious now which I obviously wasn't as much 14 days ago.
Day 16 Thursday, April 2nd
I went on a very long walk as my partner, whom I live with, had been in a bad mood for quite a few days and I needed to get away (he seems to be doing a lot better now (he discovered Zoom with friends) but it was a rough week). Unfortunately, I didn't wear the best shoes and I activated some tendonitis in my foot/ankle from an old running injury.
Day 18 Saturday, April 4th
I went for a nice 3 hour hike with my friend, M. We'd both been social distancing so we felt it was safe enough for us to meet up for a hike. We were planning on having this be a recurring Saturday activity to help keep track of the days but it turns out this is the only one as there are now fines for people who don't live in the same household being together. While I understand this new rule I don't like it. I get it's easiest for it to be black and white but I think it will take a huge toll on people's mental health. I think people should be able to interact if they are both safely social distancing outside of this.
Day 21 Tuesday, April 7th
I found out they closed my nearby park which was pretty devastating as I was going there daily for walks. Dom and I ran into our neighbors and we all went for a walk to the docks.
Well the one thing that was keeping me sane is now closed... #phdpandemic pic.twitter.com/sJogml2jmw— Caitlyn Cardetti (@CaitlynCardetti) April 7, 2020
Day 22 Wednesday, April 8th
Tried walking through the neighborhoods but it just isn't the same. I have 0 motivation to take long walks on the sidewalks around my apartment and a 30 minute walk just doesn't have the same effect as a long trail walk. Also people stare at you like you're breaking the law which makes me feel uneasy.
Late that night, like real late so probably really day 23, I decided to start the Coursera offering "The Science of Well-Being" I think I did this because I knew the lost walks would have a negative outcome and this was also the week my partner was pretty cranky which had its toll on me as well.
Day 23 Thursday, April 9th
My sister's 27th birthday. No different for me since I live far and wouldn't celebrate in person with her either way but I'm sure still a bummer for her.
Day 25 Saturday, April 11th
Attended Dom's brother's wedding via Facebook Live. They will have a more "normal" ceremony July 5th. Glad they found a way to keep their day.
Day 26 Today
I slept a crazy amount today and then still took a nap. I think this was my first nap during this social distancing. Not a big napping person. I attended my writing group via Zoom (something I haven't been to regularly in years, since I left NYC) which was nice and 100% the reason this post finally was written.
My recaps aren't all encompassing, just the "big" things that have been going on. I've been doing some writing for work here and there - although it seems more in bursts than regularly scheduled -checking emails, reading journal articles, attending a Zoom seminar/thesis defense here and there. On the personal side, I've been journaling more, reading a real live physical book, still listening to audiobooks too although less now that I haven't been walking as much, a handful of Nike Training Club app workouts throughout the week - although not the last few days which I should get on top of. Oh, and I of course, watched Tiger King.
What have you been doing? How are you holding up?
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